I hate movies, tv, music....just about everything of that sort lately, but I'm also happy it's like this. Every channel I go through, each song I hear goes straight to my heart lately, especially love ones and crap. Even tho nobody's cheated on me.....I know how crappy i would feel and how fast my life would be ripped apart if it happened to me, so everytime i friggen turn on the TV and see some stupid evil unfaithful people, I freak out. I, over and over, go through all the thoughts and feelings surrounding it, and I have NO control over it. Every love song, every kissing scene, every suggestive smile on camera makes me--MAKES ME--think about christina, they make me apply them to my own relationship, they make me remember stuff, most of all they make me miss Christina like crazy. I can't get our relationship out of my head. I can't stop wishing I with her more....I can't stop wishing we could be out of highschool and out of our houses so we could govern when, where, how much, and what we do together. I was just watching this stupid movie, how to lose a guy in 10 days, or some crap like that. Every weird lil thing that happened made me think of christina. Their horrible unprofessional kisses made me think of how much better of kisses we share. All their problems n issues reminded me of how completely awesome our relationship is, and how little of problems we have, and how perfectly we work them out when we do (like i forgot or something...ha). I unno....I feel psycho and crap when this happens sometimes because I can't control it. I hate how much it makes me miss Christina. I do seem to have a better understanding for stuff tho. Like songs n movies n such. I can understand the emotion that's supposed to be shown. I "get it" all now. But I do like thinking about Christina and stuff, so it's not like AHHH I HATE THIS, WHY DO I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HER or something like that. it's juss weird. OK, enough about that.

I got married. haha. At the renassaince (or however you spell it) fair, me and Christina went to the lil 2$ get married booth thingy. It was all weak and cheap. Super-ultra cheap ring, annoyed chick reading the "vows" with no accentuation or anything in her voice. Stupid gay vows. took a whole 10 seconds.....But it was still somehow special to me. I know it means nothing in reality: its not legally binding, still can't have sex, i don't get cheaper car insurance, if we had kids they would be born bastards, her ring isn't worth crazy money and I can't chloroform her, take the ring off while she's unconscious, pawn it off, and get a cubit zirconium replacement. None of that cool stuff. But I somehow feel closer. It's awesome....we keep putting our fingers (ring fingers you dipweed) next to eachothers and smiling at eachother. Iono...it seems like yet another reminder of how close we are to eachother. OH, that reminds me. Christina's mom and both of her brothers have talked about us bein married in some way. Last night Christina's mom said "...So when you actually do get married...". Jon said "Spousal abuse" and Christina replied "we're not married" and he said "might as well be" or "close enough" or something, i don't remember. And Vince said something like "you guys aren't married yet" or that it seems like we're married or somethin like that. I unno, i juss think that's weird. Oh that reminds me, my dad said "when you guys get married" once or twice too...Is everyone else actually noticing that we're as close as we are, or is this just a freak coincidence? I unno...All I know is that it's kinda weird.

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