I love Christina soooooo much...

I wish someone would ask something.

- posted by Joebo @ 1:34:13 PM

 

I'm feelin real good lately. I feel a lot more of myself lately. I feel like some things are really gonna start pickin up. I feel like from here on out, It's juss gonna get better and better. I think i'll start doin more stuff wit friends...I think my relationship with christina is gonna see some huge improvement (it's awesome now, but I think it's juss gonna get better and better)......start goin to church again (and prayin n other christian stuffs a lot more).....then i'ma leave my stupid Gay school....have MORE time for friends n church n christina...gonna try to have and go to parties during da summer.......then gonna go to S.T., gonna have an actual school life again, might improve with ma studies, be able to be wit friends n christina more........Get my license in November. Be able to do more with friends, and A lot more with christina. Gonna be able to go places more than a couple miles away with her. Gonna have more freedom......plus i'll prolly end up goin to and from school with her every day that's possible.....see this? More time. awesome stuff..........Prolly gonna try getting friends n such into christianity n such (might do some o that this summer too)........and It juss goes on and on with better stuff the rest of my life. Trust me, It'll be awesome.
- posted by Joebo @ 9:27:10 PM

 

Today was weird. My day at school was real cool. The rest kinda up n down. I was surprised with the up n downness...that part of my day sucked a lot more than I thought it would.

- posted by Joebo @ 8:27:20 PM

 

So umm...I think I'll start off with an interesting little conversation that I was a part of today.

*Someone says something is fat*
-Me: "Your cat's fat."
Guy I directed it at: "How'd you know I had a cat?"
-Me: "Your mom's cat is fat."
*Guy partly stands up from his seat and acts like he's gonna hit me or something, I only flinch a lil*
-Guy: "I bet David has a cat."
Me: "I...do not care."
-Guy: "He has a cat." *Guy uses face gestures to try to show me something*
Me: "...k."
-Guy: "A cat..." *face gestures again, maybe a hand gesture or two*
Still the guy (whispering): "...a pussy"

-Silent pause...

Me: "Once again...I...do not care."

O that was a great one, especially since this guy is like 4'7" or somethin...I dunno, he's pretty short. Oh and I used my cool lil accents too. Fun convo...

So umm...my day was perty good. Got a compliment which was kinda weird, Robert found crazy stuff under the microscope like he always does, I didn't run in P.E. cuz I gots tendoniticis n such, typing was funny cuz it's typing, Math was funny cuz I got a B on a test that most people flunked, Bible was coo cuz it had that convo in it, and up till now has been cool cuz Garrett was ova and we played video games n such. Much fun, much fun. Lunch was pretty weak, as was break...like normal. It's cuz my school is gay. If you don't believe me, ask Troy. MAN...I am SO happy I'm gonna be goin to S.T. next year. haha, I get to dye ma hair if I want, get to *GASP* wear T-shirts (it's ok, I do it anyway), get to see a whole lot more friends, get to be with my wonderful girlfriend, I'll prolly actually have a social life again, oooh...more people to make fun of, more teachers to annoy...The awesomeness of S.T. juss goes on and on...
- posted by Joebo @ 8:45:12 PM

 

CRAP, School tomorrow. Man...I am so sleeping during 4th period or something.

Off to the wonderful world of education kiddies...

- posted by Joebo @ 10:52:03 PM

 

I feel much better today. I'm havin perty weird thoughts, i'm in a perty weird mood...so I'll talk aboot something else instead.

I can't figure out what I wanna be. I've thought of being a teacher...and if I was, i'd hafta be a highschool teacher. And that means I'd be paid near to nothing. So...not quite sure that's fo me. I've thought about bein a bible-teacher or pastor sort of dude, but I don't think I'd do a good enough job as either of those. You know...I could be in a band...I mean seriously, tons of "popular" bands have crazy, crazy easy guitar crap..I could be in one o those. BUT, not gonna screw myself over by tryin for that. Why? Cuz if that doesn't work out...I'm a bum. Don't wanna be a bum, so I'll do something else. I think I've figured out why I haven't figured anything out. lol. Juss about everything would be way more work than I'd want to do. I'm a lazy slob. I don't wanna work. No...that's not it. Cuz there's a lot of stuff that I could enjoy doing for a living. Man...I just can't narrow it down AT ALL. I need help. I need advice. I don't know where to look. There are Wayyyyy too many things I could choose to do, and I have no idea what would be best for me. I do know I wanna make good money. that's about it...OH, I wanna enjoy it too.

I'm freakin out man...

- posted by Joebo @ 7:29:00 PM

 

I don't feel myself lately. I think I might be startin to get depressed. I think it's cuza my gay school and because I have almost no social life lately. I do feel myself around certain people sometimes. I need to start really enjoying my life again. Doing fun, crazy stuff. Maybe I can get Troy to help me out. Ooh...maybe I can just start screwin with people. Doing crap like gettin in an elevator with a duffel bag, waitin till there's tons of people, then asking, "Umm...does anyone know how to disarm a bomb in 19 seconds?" Maybe I should start doing some pranks at school. Maybe I should juss start hangin out with some of my friends that go to S.T. more. I dunno, but something needs to change.

...End

- posted by Joebo @ 10:17:14 PM

 

So...i'm back from snowboarding. It's pretty weak when you go 2 days out of a year...I've noticed, I've been saying weak a lot lately. Maybe I should start using something else, like gay, or homo, or evvvil. I like evvvil...

my knee hurts...

Last three days have been good and horrible at the same time. I'm tired of writing, so i'ma put up some Slick Shoes lyrics that I thought were all applicable to stuffs. I'll prolly put up the song for da music on da page too.

Slick Shoes-Sleep In

As I watch you sleep I am taken from the place I stand. Taken to a place with no cares. I never thought I could be so lucky to be with you. Always too afraid it would end. When I wake up in the morning and you are still next to me. Out of slumber into woken dreams. I can't believe that it's better than I thought it would be. You'll always mean everything. And now (whoa oh oh), I don't need to worry I have figured out, (whoa oh oh), I don't need to worry I have figured. You take all my worries; they just don't matter to me. You take all my worries; they just don't matter to me. You take all my worries; they just don't matter to me. You take all my worries; they just don't matter to me.

- posted by Joebo @ 9:28:33 PM

 
Why do my mistakes seem to blow up so much lately? Why am I so stupid? I should know better. I need to change. I'm constantly screwing up. I hurt those that are close to me. I don't deserve to live, much less the friends I have, my parents that are sooo much smarter than I give them credit for, all the lil conveniences I have, the things like guitar n music that bring me joy...and I DEFINATELY don't deserve Christina. I keep hurting her...even though it's never on purpose, and it's usually just a misunderstanding...It kills me. like I said, I don't deserve to live. I don't even understand why I have her. I am the wrroooong person for her. i'm always lettin her down...always giving her reason to cry...I don't deserve her, not even close. and she deserves much better than me. Someone that can always keep her happy, someone that never forgets stuff, someone that always knows exactly what to say, someone that makes her feel like a princess, someone that makes her feel beautiful, someone that always makes her feel better, and never brings her down...some guy that I couldn't ever be. I want to be that guy, but I can't. Maybe christina would be better off without me.
- posted by Joebo @ 9:35:59 PM

 

I had the most awesome time with Christina today. Crazy good stuff. Haha...a while ago we agreed to not exchange gifts, but we both got stuff for eachother anyway. Lots of thumb wrestling, tickling, and making fun of people. New stuff like always...It was sooooooo great. One of ma best days in a while...

I don't feel like writing about anything else, cuz ya, it'd ruin the awesomeness. I'm gonna go put on some moosic in my room, turn on the lil snooze thingy so it'll turn off by itself, n go to sleep.

*Staring at a yellow candle*

- posted by Joebo @ 11:43:25 PM

 
I need to write soon...
- posted by Joebo @ 12:35:22 PM

 

I'm creating my own problems. Right now i'm havin school problems. What really sucks is if I have too much of school problems....my mom kills any life I have until I do better in school. I have a math test tomorrow that I am SOOOO unprepared for...pretty much cuz I haven't done the last 4 math homework assignments. O...those are due tomorrow too. It's 9:30 right about now...I have a fat headache...I'm takin a shower n goin to sleep. I'm pretty sure I can get one or two of those assignments done by math, which is 5th period, But I'm still prolly gonna fail the test. Just about all of my life is a big headache right now...and it's pretty much all my fault. So much crap I wanna do, sooooo not enough time to do any of it. I need to make a list of crap I want to do and figure out which ones are the most important to me, then completely quit the other crap forever. I'm not sure I shoulda gone to that golf teem meeting thingy yesterday.......I know I'm good enough to get on the team, cuz there's hardly anyone even going out for the team, and a few of em really suck. But let's see...I wanna start going to church and doin more church-like activities. bible study, youth groups maybe...I DEFINATELY wanna have time to spend with Christina. Once I'm out of the crappy school i'm at, I'm gonna want to spend more time with friends. I wanna read...I wanna do extra-curricular activities n get in clubs for college n crap...SO MUCH crap. But I don't have that kind of time. Or tolerance...I can't deal with trying to juggle too many things at once, I'll juss break down. I'm pretty friggen sure I'm not even gonna try out for the golf team anymore...the 2 things I really wanna focus on outside of school are Churchy stuffs and Christina. Time for me to go now....

Sorry to anyone who I already have...or will snap at in my non-stop grouchiness...

- posted by Joebo @ 9:27:04 PM

 

Last night turned out real awesome-like. Today I did some drivers training n such...I can drive on the freeway now. Woot! So umm...Otherwise I've been juss stalling cuz I don't want to do my homework...My dad's mad at me n great stuff. What my parents don't seem to understand is that bugging me doesn't work. The more they tell me to do crap, the less I wanna do it. I just hate nagging. If they would just leave me alone for a while I'd go do whatever I need to get done....but when they tell me over and over and over to do something, I simply don't do it. It's been this way for....ever...so they should know this by now. Got some math to do, History project to do, English Paper to write, Science stuff to do that I can't do cuz I lost it, Book to read. I'm prolly gonna end up doing the project and writing the paper. I'm having a bad day...
- posted by Joebo @ 5:06:53 PM

 

Today so far sucks. lol...the best part is I learned 2 A Static Lullaby songs on guitar. lots of confusion and crap...plan was, christina was gonna come over from like noon till 10 or 11....it was gonna be awesome. Planned all ahead-like. Even ma dad and his fiance were settin up a special lasagna dinner thing and were gonna have krista's boyfriend come over too. But...christina's mom said she could only be gone for 2 hours. And there's a party thing at 6 for Brenna that I wanna go to. So...I'm screwin up the dinner cuz I wanna go....Oh and now christina might come over for juss a lil bit, cuz my dad's in San Jose anyway, so he might pick her up.....but if he has to wait, he won't pick her up....and christina has to go with her mom somewhere real quick, and she might not be back in time....And NOW my dad is trying to MAKE ME stay for the dinner thing, saying I'm gonna mess it all up, even though it's already being messed up. Oh and I have stress put on me for homework and projects that are overdue n stuff. I would just give up on half this crap......but I really really wanna see Christina right now, even if it is just for an hour or so. I miss her...But it's kinda cool, me goin to the party makes pickin up christina and droppin her off real soon seem less of a problem, cuz i'm gonna be going to a party near there around the same time anyway. So I dunno what's gonna happen. I'm either gonna get to see christina, plus go to the party at least close to on time...Or not see christina, and I'll prolly juss do the crappy dinner thing cuz I'm not in the greatest mood for tryin to get to the party early. My dad was sayin "You have to think of others" when i was talkin to him.....but he doesn't realize the crap I hafta deal with right now. He was all...well....I don't want to drive back to san jose so quick. O yeah, he sure does think of others. All he's thinking of is him and mabe Jamie. He was like "it'd upset jamie" if i didn't stay for the dinner thing...I'm not sure that's valid, cuz see...my dad does this thing where he talks for other people A LOT. I bet she wouldn't even care all that much. he says "i know how she feels" but he doesn't...I prolly know jamie better than he does...But she is pretty friggen sensitive so maybe it would upset her. not sure. DONE WRITING.

I am in a really bad mood...

- posted by Joebo @ 3:50:07 PM

 

I just watched WAYYY too much South Park. That can't be healthy. so many lines stuck in my head. "No Jimmy, this is my pot pie. no jimmy...BAD JIMMY. That's a bad jimmy!" (cartman's uncle or something) oh and "Dare" (deep voice, stan). Man...I was all proud-like, cuz I thought I finally finished both season one and two....but I skipped one. so gonna watch that tomorrow...along with the hippy "going down to south park" documentary crap. Juss cuz it's there. Good day today, gonna have a good one tomorrow. Got my air horn in the mail that I bought a few days ago. so awesome...OK I feel the need to urinate so i'ma go.

Slllurp...

- posted by Joebo @ 11:24:17 PM

 

I'm happy. That's all you need to know.

- posted by Joebo @ 10:18:53 PM

 

dude...I SO had something interesting to talk about. MANNNN!!! Ok today Troy was bein real screwed up...and he actually has been a lot lately. I kinda hope he reads this, but I don't care enough to juss tell him. Like any time I wanted to talk about something he'd be like "I don't care" or "...JOE.....shutup..." or "JOE!! I dooon't care" crap like that. Screwed up dude...I mean, it's fine if he doesn't wanna hear what I hafta say, but don't hang around me n crap. Don't talk to me if ur not gonna listen. Don't expect me to be all friendly when ur like that. I feel this close (holds up fingers real close) to bein a loner at my school. I do have aquaintances, I do have people that I can have a good time with...it's juss...they ignore me when their other friends are nearby. Maybe I should try to hang out with some other group the rest of the year. Maybe I should juss be a loner and listen to music all alone every break and lunch. Maybe I should juss keep doin what I've been doing. I wish it'd stop raining so I could sit at our little bench thingy...lay my head on my arms and juss lay there silent all lunch and think. I kinda enjoyed that.

I feel depression sinking in...I'm gonna go learn a song on guitar now, do my essay that's due tomorrow, take a shower, then go to sleep. Bye

oh...I know my Journal has been pretty boring lately, but deal with it. I hafta deal with being all sad-like and having tons of pressure on me every day, so you can deal with reading this piece of crap.

- posted by Joebo @ 9:51:08 PM

 

My day has been pretty weird. It started out kinda crappy...and throughout the day got progressively worse. Though it was kinda cool ripping on Brett and Anna during 7th (which is first on mondays) and 2nd period, I still was all crappy feelin. Usually I know why...or at least partly why, but I'm not sure this time. I think maybe it had to do with pressure n crap. not doin homework for 3 classes...not studying for a test that I was MAKING UP...you know...Even lunch was really crappy. I thought it was gonna be kinda cool cuz I was actually caring about ppl and trying to talk to people and be social...but like always people juss ignored me in the end. they do it to juss about everyone, it's not juss me. like troy...It's so screwed up. We'll be sittin there tryin to talk to people, and they either just ignore us, turn away, or walk away. Juss not right. And it's not even cuz they don't like us or anything....It's just weird. Rude people! see why I don't care about them? you understand that the group I tried to be a part of is juss losers? ya. And it's not like any other group is any better. My school juss sucks. ANYWAYS...

So right after school my day started getting better. I had to take that make-up test I was talking about, but I somehow enjoyed myself. Me and a few other people had to wait our turns in the library...and it was kinda funny cuz this one guy had to take the same test and he was all pissed n such. He just kept complaining n crap...Yeah. This one girl in my class, Kiley, was absent right about the same time as I was...and she missed a lot of the same stuff, so she had to take the test too. It was kinda cool cuz when it was finally time for me to take my test I saw her and I gave her a sarcastic "Oh, yay!" look when I sat down. she laughed n gave a similar look...it was cool. ANYWAYS (again)...

My mood got better because I felt really good about the test, It seemed wayyy too easy, and I didn't even study. Then right after that I got to Drive home. (yes, me behind the wheel for the 20 miles or so home). Backroads, speeding up and making little "nnnnee" noises for fun, taking backroads to annoy my dad cuz he was trying to make me nervous, Fun Stuff. Then I got home, found that I got my new CD in da mail...listened to that...Now I'm buying South Park:Season Three and somethin else online (won't tell ya cuz you might ruin certain people bein surprised). I've had a headache since I woke up...and It seems to finally be going away.

The best part of my school day was prolly near the end of lunch. I felt all lonely. I felt like I needed someone for support, someone to make me feel better about myself, someone to share feelings with, someone to have fun times with, someone to take away all the stress I have while i'm with them, someone I can relate with.....just pretty much someone that I can count on to be there for me. Then I kinda felt like running into a wall. felt like a retard...Durrrr! I already have that person...what the fnuh was I thinking? OK, for you retards that can't take a hint, that person is Christina. She is so amazing...I am sooo lucky to be with her. So yeah, that realization that I have her with me and that I'm not alone made me all happy-like.

hehe, during health we were having a discussion about relationships n stuff...and that made me kinda happy. We were talkin about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. made me feel real good...

Off to amazon.com to finish my order...

- posted by Joebo @ 6:40:16 PM

 

So...I'm back. Took a shower, ate a yogurt, talked to Allan n Kate online...and now I'm back. I thought I was gonna have an ok day today, worse than most...and I was right. Though most of the hour or two I was with Christina was real awesome, lotsa other stress and crap has been bringing me down.

I'm questioning things that should be certain. I'm puttin priorities on crap I prolly shouldn't be...a buncha bad stuff. O SICK, survivor might actually doing what I thought of all along....gotta watch this one. BBL maybe!
- posted by Joebo @ 7:50:43 PM

 

Forgot to give credit for the songs n lyricsses. All that awesomeness provided by Pensive. Get on their site by clickin on their name right back there...or go to www.pensivepunk.com

I was gonna write about our crappy society but I changed my mind. Why, Because I'm kinda sad right now of course. Borderline depressed actually. dude...I so lost my appetite for writing. I kinda want to sleep right now. No reason to stay awake other than to do homework, which I'm not doing. Let's see...gotta write an essay for English, and gotta do 2 and a half lessons of math....I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight...prolly as soon as I finish my homework. whether that be 8, 9...I don't care. I'd go to bed in like half an hour if it wasn't for the homework....cuz I gotta take a shower. I might as well get the shower done with I guess...

*Joe turns the water on*

- posted by Joebo @ 7:00:33 PM